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Then, at 35 years of age, an incredibly painful event was experienced by me. There was a buddy I staying with in the US suicide. He shot at himself. Home was returned by me for the British a couple weeks later and control was spiraled out of by my depression. Weeks passed without me beginning the drapes or even making the home. I had only a sensation of thoughts and nothingness to keep me firm, and lost experience of most of my friends. Finally I visited a doctor and he diagnosed me with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), in addition to significant depression. Throughout the subsequent two years, quite a few doctors moved me high in drugs that had all manner of side effects.